My 3+ Favorite Mindset “Don’ts and Dos”

Do you ever catch yourself in your same old self-defeating patterns?

I know I sure don’t!!

Not because I don’t have them. It’s because I walk around with a blind eye to my self-sabotaging behaviors — until I get in a room with friends and colleagues who are able to see my bulls*t.

Our Lessons from BDR, April 2016

And that’s why I always love when I’m in a room with smart business owners.

As I was preparing for my upcoming Business Design Retreat, I found a note I had written after the very first BDR I hosted almost a year ago. It was a list of 3 (plus) things that were the biggest mindset lessons that popped up during that powerful day together.

It was a good reminder that building a business isn’t just about your business model and marketing and sales. So much is about mindset. And I’d like to share my takeaways with you from that particular day…

#1 You choose.

I was at TED headquarters in NYC last week and met a late 20-ish guy who told me he sold drugs for 4 years “because he had no choice.” When I was curious why he didn’t have any other options, he said he “wasn’t going to take a job at Target for $20,000 per year.”

Let’s be clear, I don’t care if he sells drugs or dish detergent.

But I DO strongly care that he didn’t think he had a choice. Because he did. It’s not that he couldn’t get a job. He CHOSE to sell drugs instead.

His choice.

And you get to make your choices too. Don’t let anyone tell you any different.

DON’T tell yourself, “I can’t.”
DO tell yourself, “I choose to” or “choose not to.”

#2 You decide.

Kerry knew she wanted to grow her business and found my mentoring program which she knew was right for her. She considered asking her husband and mom (yes, her mom!) for their permission to make the investment.

After tangling internally with the decision for awhile, she said, “F*ck it. I’m a grown woman” and went ahead and enrolled without asking them.

Within 30 days, she had increased her sales by 2.65 times – which more than paid back her investment. And ultimately doubled her revenues for the year.

DON’T ask for permission from others.
DO make your own decisions.
DO the work.
DO celebrate your results!
 

#3 You rule.

2012 Fear Poster Child Carolyn Herfurth

Meet the 2012 poster child for succumbing to Fear. >>>>>>>>>>>

After a severely disappointing and financially devastating period in my business, I froze.

I became so afraid of making another mistake. Afraid of making the wrong financial decision. Afraid of rejection. I was so afraid that I quit trying new things. Stopped taking risks. And was a living, breathing contradiction machine.

Until one day my coach asked me, “how long are you going to continue to let fear drive your decisions?”

It had become such a part of my fabric that I didn’t even realize the Real Carolyn Herfurth had shrunk into a tiny little shell of her former, ballsy self. All because I let Fear take the reins after making a few mistakes.

That was enough to wake me up — and I made fear my bitch.

(This is the part where I’m supposed tell you about how I’ve made millions and brag up my fancy Maserati convertible and second home in Hawaii. That’s not my jam.)

I became verrrrrry good at distinguishing between my fear (#false) and my instincts (#truth.) I found my groove and love that I now get to help others find theirs too.

I’ll admit Fear creeps in from time to time. But for the most part, I rule my decisions now. 🙂

DON’T let fear rule your potential for a rich and happy life.
DO make fear your bitch.

Oh, and there was a fourth scribble on my note that says, “Don’t wait to be great.”

Yeaaaahhhh… DO great now.

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Posted In: Business Model Design, Mindset & Priorities, Thought Leadership