My 3 favorite ways to lighten the load

Carolyn Herfurth | Business Coach for Women Business Owners

As business owners, an inherent part of our job description is figuring out how to defy gravity.

As a client was packing up after her recent strategy intensive, we were chatting about some of the routines and rules we’ve created for ourselves working from home.

One of her rules?

“I’ve gotta wear a bra.”

Even if nobody’s going to see her.

Because it lifts her up. Not just literally, but also figuratively.

When it comes to boobs… we love the feeling of being unleashed, but don’t necessarily want to see gravity at work on “the girls.”

Not that gravity is all bad. You already know it’s what brings things down to earth. Keeps things together.

But sometimes gravity feels unnecessarily heavy. Full of pressure. Forced.

That’s when we lose confidence… and along with it… our edge.

As business owners, an inherent part of our job description is figuring out how to defy gravity.

Especially when things aren’t going the way we expected.

Maybe you’re building a business that’s all business, and no pleasure.

Maybe you’ve found yourself doing things that don’t necessarily feel true to you, anymore.

Maybe all the zest and passion you once had have left the building — and you need to figure out what the missing piece is.

If you identify, check out my 3 favorite gravity defying moves:

1. Don’t complain.

Complaining feels heavy. And barking about it fuels whatever you’re disappointed about — making the problem(s) bigger and bigger — and last longer and longer.

One of my most painful experiences with this was at the end of 2016. Business had been amazing that year. Another banner year.

But I noticed an immediate slowdown in applications for my accelerator after the presidential election. And it wasn’t getting back to normal levels even though it’d been a popular program for several years.

So I fell into the habit of sharing the details of my disappointments and concerns with a fellow business coach who was dealing with similar, noticeable changes in her business too.


And then I carried my griping over into other relationships, because, god help me, bitching to one person wasn’t enough. 😫

That complaining did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to improve my situation. In fact, I’m convinced it kept me playing far below my capabilities for at least a year longer than necessary.

I’m not saying resist or ignore your concerns. Go ahead and feel it. Roll around in it if you want.

But the better option… in lieu of complaining… is to acknowledge the situation and explore your options.

Instead of repeating, “This isn’t working for me” — study it. Get curious about it. And listen.

But do not complain.

2. Go deep with a thought partner.

Have someone objectively look at all you’ve done, see new possibilities — and help you create a plan for bringing them to life. It’s game changing.

After pissing and moaning for 7 months after the election, I was sick of myself.

Gravity was winning.

It was clear I was NOT going to get out of this on my own.

So I forked over a bunch of dinero to hire the remarkable, irreverent (and-not-cheap-but-worth-every-dollar) Ash Ambirge to be the ringleader of a refresh.

She observed that the root of everything I do is to help women understand, own and articulate their value. So I created Unshakable to teach you how to do it for yourself.

Plus we built a gorgeous website that, no doubt, defies gravity. 😍

And it put an end to my complaining.

But I had one more problem that was weighing me down.

Which leads to my third gravity defying trick…

3. Read this book 👉🏼 “It’s Not Your Money” by Tosha Silver.

I’ve earned a good bit of money over the years. And you’d think, being a banker’s daughter and all, that I’d be super responsible with it. But nope. I’ve found ways to undermine myself in some pretty puzzling ways.

So I’ve spent years and thousands of dollars trying to unravel the mystery behind my self-sabotaging money behaviors. I made small advances and had occasional ahas, but nothing that truly lightened the mental load that weighed me down.

Then this book changed EVERYTHING with my money mindset. Unleashing a new sense of freedom and abundance.

(And when you viscerally get Tosha’s message, you’ll notice her advice goes far beyond the topic of money itself.)

That same client who puts on her bra every day?

She hired me as her thought partner and walked away with some new gravity defying tricks. Much like I did when I hired Ash.

Within a few days, she landed a new high-end client. She said,

“I felt that Carolyn really “got” me and what I bring to the table for my clients. I now see how I can market myself much better without having to do a lot more work… The session also helped me regain confidence in my offerings and selling ability and energized me to get back in the game.”

If you’re looking for a thought partner who truly sees you, I’m ready to rally with you.

Too often, we let “not knowing” weigh us down.

But there are people like me whose job (and joy) it is to lighten the load for people like you.

Don’t let gravity keep you from gliding to success.


p.s. One of my rules?

Gotta wear jeans. Because they don’t expand the same way Lululemons do. So if the pounds start to creep on, I know it. And the only expanding I want to do around here is to grow women owned businesses, not my waistline! (Although I seem to be doing both these days…)

p.p.s. I’ve got 2 new episodes of Burn The Bullsh*t coming your way!! One is *moi* finishing up Season 3 (long story, tell you later.) And the other is February 11 when I air my conversation with Ash. It’s deeeeelllliiiiiiiiiiiish!

Posted In: Mindset & Priorities