What NOT To Do When They Disapprove

I know he meant well.

But, sonafabitch, if it didn’t sting worse than a spider bite. And have you ever gotten a spider bite?!?!  They hurt like a %&*^@#*&!

“I can’t believe you put all that money into a beautiful new website, and then use that language.”



That’s was the word my amazing, supportive-of-most-everything (except cursing) dad disapproved of when my new website went live a year ago.

I’d spent 8 months, tens of thousands of dollars and gathered a crackerjack team to reflect what I stand for.

My instantaneous, rebellious retort was, “when you’re a successful woman who knows it’s time to change her business model — but don’t want to mess with what’s working or lose money in the process — then I’ll take your opinion into consideration.”

But the last part was a lie.

Because his opinion — from a man I adore more than peanut butter — brought me to my knees.

It happens to all of us.

You’re excited about a new idea or venture or relationship. You’re confident that you’re headed in the right direction…

Then someone comes along and spouts off an opinion that de-fucking-rails you.

They always mean well. They’re trying to protect you.

But I let his words bother the mother-lovin’ daylights out of me for six months while I monitored my potty mouth.

^^^ This is what NOT to do, friend. ^^^


Then I remembered that burning the bullshit is one of my superpowers.

Even Allure magazine says so… 😘

Cut yourself some slack if it takes awhile to notice the stall, because sometimes you’re too damn close to see it for yourself.

If you’re not granted the Awesome Dad/Husband/Dog Walker/Significant Other/Hair Stylist/BFF Official Stamp of Approval — it doesn’t mean you can’t do you.

Once I let go of the attachment to his opinion, the theme of burning the bullshit took on a life of its own.

And it sprang from the most unlikely places.

For example, in the process of leading Infinite Possibilities (IP) , I noticed even Mike Dooley knows that creating what you want in life has so much to do with burning the bullshit that keeps you playing small. Beliefs like…

Money is hard to make.
Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Some people have all the luck.

In one IP exercise you list beliefs that don’t serve you — then light them on fire with a real flame — which is literally burning the bullshit in real time!

And all that Bro’ Marketing bullshit out there?

That’s gotta go too!

So I started offering private Burn The Bullshit sessions as a way for business owners to quickly assess their best ideas, shine a light on blindspots — and put a plan into motion to replace the bullshit you no longer want to be doing.

Here’s what happened for one business owner who took me up on a session — with my commentary to the right…

You also have to let go of the old to make room for the new.

I made the difficult decision to discontinue two cash cow programs that I’d been running for 2 and 6 years each. (More on that decision in a future post.)

And then a friend suggested I start a podcast because he thinks that if Mel Robbins and Joe Rogan had a love child, it would be me. (Let’s overlook that I’m probably older than both of them, shall we?)

(For the record: this is the same friend who discouraged me from starting my first business over 16 year ago!)

So hear ye, hear ye…

Not everyone in your life will understand and support every single thing you do.

You may give their opinion more credence than your own, by backing down.

Then after awhile, you’ll realize what’s happening when you notice yourself…

(even, dare I say?) quitting

Then you’ll bitch slap yourself out of it (because that’s what it usually takes) — and you’ll revolt.

You’ll revolt against fear.
You’ll revolt against excuses.
You’ll revolt against mediocrity.
You’ll revolt against bullshit.
You’ll revolt against _______.*

(*you know exactly your word that goes there!)

And then you’ll go back to doing you.

Welcome home.

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Posted In: Mindset & Priorities