As business owners, we have goals for things we want to achieve.
Have a full private practice? Time to launch a group program.
Goal: 20 participants
Have a full group program? Time to launch a membership.
Goal: 300 members
Have a full membership? Time to launch a retreat.*
Goal: 50 attendees
And so on…
*Disclaimer: This is NOT my “cookie cutter recipe” for how to build your business. It is ONE of INFINITE paths you can take to can grow your business.
But when you fall short — or completely miss a goal — how do you handle it?
• Do you brush it off as if the goal never existed? *Nothing to see here, folks. Move along.*
• Remind yourself that you neeeeevvvvvvver meet your goals and “why did I start this business anywaaaaaaay…. what a horrible mistake!” — and then sulk for 3 weeks “because why even bother?”
• Or whip our your clipboard and do a rundown of where, how and why things went sideways?
There are hundreds (if not thousands) of goals I’ve set over the years that I did NOT meet.
I would ruthlessly punish myself for not setting the right goals, not taking the right actions, not taking enough action, not taking any action, taking too much action, not writing it down, not being specific enough, being too specific… The list goes on.
For me, that approach was reinforced by my early days in corporate.
But when I looked back at my failures as an entrepreneur — I began to realize that every single one of my unmet goals was not only a result of a misdirected strategy or tactic.
Rather, it was a result of how I showed up — which is a reflection of my own beliefs and habits.
Digging into beliefs and habits isn’t something I’ve always done. But it’s something I wish somebody had told me about when I was a lot younger. So in case you haven’t gotten the memo…
Dearest You, this is damn important so pay attention. You can thank me later!
Everything you’ve achieved — or not achieved — has happened for a reason. Those wins pile up to increase your skills and confidence. The mistakes are turn signals for your next move.
And it’s all happened (or not) because of what you believe about yourself, life, the world, other people… In fact, it stems from your beliefs about everything.
These beliefs are all nuggets you’ve gathered throughout your life experiences — like a squirrel gathers nuts and berries. (Although frankly, I’ve never seen a squirrel eat berries so ignore that part.)
You’ve got hundreds of beliefs. And they’re as much a part of you as breathing. You’re not even consciously aware of them.
Some beliefs serve you.
And other beliefs don’t. These are the ones that get in your way of achieving the goals (you think**) you want to reach. **Remind me to tell you about the “you think” part another day.
ALL of your beliefs create your reality.
For example, when I started my first business almost 16 years ago, I had the belief that I was a fraud*** because I was new to the business — and that I would be rejected because I wasn’t good enough.
(*** If feeling like an fraud is an issue for you, grab a copy of The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women by Dr. Valerie Young. She’s been featured in Oprah magazine — and speaks extensively about dealing with the imposter syndrome.)
I wasn’t aware of these beliefs, but they directly impacted my business results.
For the first year in my new business, those underlying beliefs kept me from making as many outgoing calls and connections as I needed to build a healthy business. Because I was afraid people would think I was an intrusive telemarketer and hang up on me.
It kept me from confidently showing up at networking events and OWNING my elevator pitch like a badass — even if it sucked. (But, in hindsight, whose belief would that be? 😂)
I let my self-doubt rule so if someone in my circle of influence didn’t respond to my first outreach, it was validation that I wasn’t good enough. Rather than realizing that maybe they needed a second or third nudge from me because they have their own damn life!
Those beliefs led to my 🏆 Record Breaking WORST Year Ever 🏆
If I dug through my old tax returns, I’d probably find that I earned more working as a clerk at the drug store as a 16-year old than I did my first year as a 35-year old business owner. A grown ass woman who had a mortgage and other adult expenses, by the way.
For many years, the footer on my email signature was, “You’re exactly where you want to be. Do you really want to stay there?”
If I were to boil that down the first sentence to 3 words, it would look like this…
Belief => Action => Result
Note that an Action can show up as an Inaction — such as lying on the sofa eating bonbons. (Meanwhile, thousands of people dream of meeting someone like you who could solve their problems. #justsayin)
I could add more to that “equation”, but I want to stay on point. Which is this…
The next time you fall short of a goal — resist punishing yourself.
Instead, use it as an opportunity to ask yourself what you believe to be true because that’s what created your results.
This is what I call the “Anchorman Treatment”!
The Anchorman Treatment is when you tune into your story.
This means watching your everyday actions in real time. Listening to the running commentary in your head that explains what you’re doing. And how — and why.
And then challenging the story by responding with, “I don’t believe you.”
Then lighting a cigarette. 😂
In other words, don’t believe everything you tell yourself.
The more you tune into your beliefs, the more you’ll find you’ve got made up, crazy stories. And the better aligned your future actions will be. And the easier it is to choose the strategies that will give you the results you want.
When you don’t get the results you want, take out your imaginary yellow highlighter and give your story the Anchorman Treatment.
Got it? Good.
*** RED ALERT *** RED ALERT *** RED ALERT ***
If you just found yourself saying, “Great! I’m going to hole up in a dark room to get to the bottom of all of my limiting beliefs before I take action on pursuing my goal. I’ll see ya’ll in a few months.”
STOP your sweet self right there, Sister!!! 🛑
That thought, right there, is a belief that won’t serve you.
You won’t find your beliefs in a balloon.
You’ll find your beliefs when the balloon pops.
(If you know how to tune in, that is. Which I didn’t know to do for yeaaaaaaars!)
Because doing this for yourself isn’t always easy, especially at first — I’ve found that having someone who’s skilled with gently, firmly and expertly helping me see my blind spots is the golden ticket. And only then do I get better spotting them for myself.
(I unearthed a BIGGIE BELIEF about dating the other day. Whew. Whoa. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.)
But not everyone is ready to look under the bed for this stuff. Maybe you don’t think you’re ready for what you’ll find.
But I promise you it’s the most freeing experience you’ll ever have.
Even better than the day you walked into your boss’ office to quit. Even better than the days you go braless. (Which apparently has its own day!) Even better than playing hooky on Fridays — and Mondays. *And Thursdays.*
Yes really, that kind of free.
Everything starts to snap into place with renewed clarity because you start cutting through the stories that haven’t been serving your goals. Freeing you up to make different decisions, strategies and actions in your business.
And ultimately puts an end to “I hope THIS one is my silver bullet” panic decisions ——— “puh-leeeeeeeaaaaase buy from me” desperate sales conversations ——— and “who needs sleep, anyway?” soul-crushing launches.
No more. No more. No more.
If you’re looking for ideas for where to get support around this, drop me a note with a quick rundown of your results / reality and I’ll make a recommendation for you! I know it’s old fashioned, but when it comes to something like this, nothing replaces a human to human exchange. So please give me a few days grace for getting back to you.
Taking action — even if it’s imperfect — is still the best laboratory for getting to the root of your beliefs.
It’s also the breeding ground for making money.
Oh yeah. That making money thing. 😘
What’s your next move?