Stop trying to tune out your inner voice that’s rumbling,“It’s time for you to move on.”
As I assess the themes and the wisdom bombs from the first dozen-ish episodes of my Burn The Bullsh*t podcast (what?! you’re not subscribed? let’s fix that right now), I noticed that rejecting those murmurs is a recurring theme with the women I’ve interviewed.
One reason is, as Angela Jia Kim puts it…
Even though something is no longer serving you, you keep doing it because you don’t want to let anyone down.
Angela would know. She recently had to make the difficult decision to let go of a relatively significant revenue generator to make room for expanding her spa business. She knew that she’d be letting down hundreds of her members if she let this service go. Many are women she’d become close with over the years so it wasn’t an easy decision.
But that inner voice persists—the murmur eventually becomes a roar.
It’s way bigger than you. But you already know this because—Don’t pick up that donut. Do NOT pick up that donut. DO NOT PICK UP THAT DONUT!!!—you picked up the donut.
Yes, sometimes we do stuff we know we shouldn’t do.
And sometimes we don’t do stuff we know we’d be happier doing.
And then torture ourselves by postponing the decision, like Beth Grant did for 7 years…
When I’m in a situation that’s not working for me, I tend to stay in it way too long.
This ultimately cuts off the connection to your SELF. Creates a burden of the secret of being someone else for others. And it postpones opportunities.
Specifically for Beth, ignoring her inner dialogue that was prompting her to indulge her creative side closed a window to turn her comedy festival award winning script into a film. And she’s certain that she’d be established as a freelance journalist by this point. So she’ll settle for a couple of onstage appearances and an art show. They’re a start. Late, but a start.
This is what happens when you hang onto an identity that you’ve outgrown.
As Laurie Davis Edwards explains it…
I had become the online dating girl and that was my identity. For my business, but also, I took it to be so much of me and my life. So transforming that, was a transformation for ME. Who am I to decide I’m going to be a coach?
I can relate to that. I moved from Oracle Sales Manager > Franchise Coach (I knew squat about franchising!) > Sales Coach > Business Model Strategist > Business Reinvention Strategist. And only George Burns (Oh God, you devil) knows what I’ll be doing a decade from now.
And for as much as I’m a cheerleader for reinvention! and change! and pivoting! I’ll admit…
Every single pivot got HARDER because I fought HARDER to keep my old identity. 😫
(Maybe that’s why I do what I do. I don’t want you to unnecessarily torment yourself the same way I did, the more successful you become.)
Here’s the truth: Change is inevitable. You already know this.
But the unexpected obstacle is that your RESISTANCE to change is also inevitable.
So the question becomes, “how, when or will you give yourself permission to stop what you’re doing so you can rock something new?”
I love what Lindsay Vastola said about this…
For me, the bullshit was feeling obligated to continue just because the business was succeeding. And that’s when I realized I had to quit. I had to give myself permission to quit to make space for something greater.
Angela, Beth and Laurie echo that same sentiment.
I also had that same problem transitioning from my franchise business to my sales coaching business. How could I walk away from multiple 6-figures to cast my line into the unknown? What if I bomb?
In my conversation with Lindsay on Burn The Bullsh*t podcast, she talks about the “What If Syndrome”—when our brains go into protection mode and look for reasons NOT to do something new.
What if I fail?
What if I succeed?
What if I starve?
What if baby needs new shoes?
What if people think I’m crazy? (HINT: You are. We all are. It’s the membership badge for all entrepreneurs.)
Hanging onto your “old” thing until you figure out the “next” thing limits you. It’s not easy to dream and imagine and DO when you’re enmeshed in your current reality. It’s an anchor.
Your resistance will find #allthereasons to keep you from changing.
But I’m not sure I have enough cash.
But what happens if that invoice doesn’t get paid? How will I cover this?
But I’m going on vacation 7 months from now.
But my mother-in-law is coming to visit.
But…
You get the idea.
So here’s my advice for handling your resistance to change:
#1 STOP
Stop fighting your resistance to move onto bigger and better things. You can run, but you can’t hide. Nobody wins when you try to stay “safe” by playing small. #truth
#2 DROP
Give yourself a drop dead date. This will be last time you offer or deliver the service you’re being called to leave behind. That wasn’t so hard, was it?
No wait, ^that’s not true.^ It can be hard. Really hard! It took me 2 years before I was willing to give up my signature program. It had become my identity so it felt like a defeat. But once I gave myself permission to drop it, it freed me up to create so much more value for my reinvention clients.
#3 ROCK
Now that you’ve given yourself permission to quit, go ahead and rock out all the ideas you have for creating what’s new. Play, don’t obsess. Let your subconscious do some of the work. And pick up a mastermind or strategic thought partner who can focus on YOU and YOUR vision. But do not rely on rando’ opinions from palm readers on rooftop bars *not that I’d know anything about that, ahem…*, because they’ll only send you down rabbit holes and delay getting on with your next thing.
#4 ROLL
Channel ALL of the new energy that comes from letting go, along with the new idea(s) and get your ass in action. I promise you’ll find things that build upon past experiences. And that you’ll find you’re far more successful in your new “reinvented” self than you would’ve imagined before you stopped, dropped, rocked—and rolled.
Because at the end of the day, even though you feel like you’re losing something in the process of pivoting and reinventing, Bill Clinton says it best…
The price of doing the same thing is far higher than the price of change.
Looking for inspiration for your next pivot? Put yourself on the invitation list to the first Reinvention Roundtable I’ll be hosting before the flowers start blooming in NYC!
